


Pick me up!

by thisseemslikefun



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Pick-Up Lines, M/M, REALLY BAD PICK-UP LINES, basically only conversation, basically really stupid, idiot!ong, official korea hymn pick me (season 1), rom com, savage!daniel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisseemslikefun/pseuds/thisseemslikefun
Summary: What usual guys would do: Ask them out.What Ong Seongwoo does: Throw around as many cheesy pick-up lines as possible.





	Pick me up!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to this hot mess! TBH, out of all the Ongniel stuff I wrote so far this is my least fave but if I already finished it I might as well upload it.
> 
> Just to warn you, English is not my first language. Also, because it's mainly conversation I hope you won't be too confused about who's talking.
> 
> Please try to enjoy it as much as possible, though!

No one honestly remembers how or why but everyone knew Ong Seongwoo would greet Kang Daniel with a cheesy pick-up line everday. Sometimes even multiple times a day. Okay, basically everday. 

Normally, if a person likes another person, they would ask them out, right? Maybe gift them something or compliment them.  
Seems like Ong Seongwoo was not a normal person. His fellow students, the professors, the dean, his friends, everyone and their mothers knew that Seongwoo has been pining after the other for months. You would expect him to have given up by now but giving up was not Ong Seongwoo's style. And so wasn't changing his horrendous ways of approaching his crush.

  
***

"Are you from Russia? ‘Cause you’re Russian my heart rate!"  
"I'm pretty sure I'm Korean. Not sure about you, though."  
"Wait, what do you mean?"  
" _Ong_ is a more common last name in China, I think."  
"I don't- WAIT, YOU KNOW MY NAME?"

***

"You look familiar, didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry."  
"We actually did have chemistry together. Remember, we once worked together on a project and you blew up everything into our faces."  
"Oh."

  
***

"Is your name Daniel? 'Cause DAMN!"  
"You have been throwing those horrible lines at me for a while now and you don't know my name?"  
"No, I chose this line extra because your name is Daniel."  
"My name isn't Daniel."  
"...What?"  
"I'm Euigeon."  
"What?"  
"Please remember my name."  
"Uh, sorry...Euigeon."  
"Who is Euigeon?"  
"You?"  
"No, my name is Daniel."  
" _What?_ "

***

"Excuse me but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!"  
"I think you dropped something else: Your dignity."

***

"You look like my mom!"  
"Your mom looks like a 20 year old dudey with pink hair?"  
"..."  
"..."  
"Nevermind."

***

"Pinch me."  
"Why?"  
"You are so fine I must be dreami-OUCH! What are you doing?"  
"Pinching you? That's what you asked for."  
"I didn't actually mean it!"  
"Don't ask for stuff you don't mean!"

***

"You so lovely, you make me wanna go out and get a job"  
"Uh..."  
"I didn't really get that one, either."

***

Seongwoo stood in front of Daniel and held up his phone to take a picture of him.

"I want to show my mom what my next boyfriend looks like."  
"Oh, you mean your mom who looks like a 20 year old dude with p-"  
"GOODBYE!"

***

"Are you from Japan? Cause I’m tryna get in Japanties."  
"I think we clarified the last time that I'm Korean. Still not sure about you, though."

***

"If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!"  
"I delete Internet Explorer as soon as I set up a new device."  
"Ouch. That hurt."

***

"Sex makes you thin. Why don't we lose weight together?"  
"Are you trying to tell me I'm fat?"  
"ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!"

***

"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."  
"Uhm, I am wearing sandals, though..."  
"I still don't want you to fall!"  
"Well, I'm not the one who ran into the class room and fell on his way to his chair this morning."  
"...Can we please forget that ever happened?"  
"Your incident or this conversation?"  
"Both."

***

"You make me wish I weren’t gay!"  
"But...we are both guys? Wouldn't it make more sense-"  
"Oh, yeah. Shit."

***

"What is your favorite color?"  
"Fresh vomit green."  
"Mine too! Seems like we are soulm-Wait, ewwww. You nasty!"

***

"What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari."  
"If that's what your trousers look like with an errection then...Sorry, but I'm not interested in little girls."  
" _GASP_ "

***

"This may seem corny but you make me really horny."  
"So, you are holding me responsible for that huge pimple in the middle of your forehead now?"  
"No-WHAT PIMPLE? OH, MY GOD!"

***

"Our break-up is worse than traffic in New York. I can't move on."  
"For two people to be able to break up they would have to have been in a relationship before. Something that does not apply to us."  
"Why don't you take a knife and ram it straight into my chest instead."

***

"I’d marry your cat just to get in the family."  
"STAY AWAY FROM MY CATS!"

***

"Hey, Baby. You want to come to my house and work on your math skills? We can add the bed, subtract the cloths, divide the legs and multiply."  
"Math has never been, is not, and will never be sexy."

***

"Baby, I’m like a firefighter. I find them hot and leave them wet...Hey, where are you going?"

***

"Here’s ₩10,000. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me."  
"Highly doubt ₩10,000 are enough."  
"Aren't you getting tired of insulting me?"  
"Aren't you getting tired of always bringing pick-up lines with no success?"  
"Touché."

***

"Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home."  
"Who do you expect to get with that line?!"  
"Uh..You? Is it working?...Hey, didn't your mom teach you that it's rude to run away when someone's talking to you?! Dani-Ah, Euigeon! No, Daniel!"

***

"Smile if you want to go out with me."  
"..."  
"How come you are always smiling at everything and everyone but now you aren't?"  
"I guess you just bring out the best of me."

***

"Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile"  
"That's - actually kind of sweet."

***

"I've been told I'm a great kisser."  
"Really?"  
"Yes, everyone who was privileged enough to taste-"  
"Because Jaehwanie said you salivated all over his face back then at that party-"  
"THAT'S A DISGUSTING LIE!"

***

"I’m Asian so I’ll eat your cat"  
"I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY CATS"

***

"You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me."  
"Don't you already have sex only with yourself? Unless you count your right hand as another person."

***

"Nice outfit. Where did you get it from?"  
"Probably from the same place as yours, since we are wearing shirts with our university logo on it."

***

"Did you die recently? 'Cause -"  
"What, are you into necrophilia now?"  
"Let me finish!"  
"Okay, fine."  
"...Fuck, I forgot."

***

"I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart."  
"Sweet, a heart is worth a lot on the black market."

***

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to pass you again?"  
"If nothing happened the last two years what makes you think it will now?"

***

"If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning."  
"Zoophilia, necrophilia and now cannibalism. Dude, you desperately need to see a doctor."

***

"If you would stand in front of a mirror with 11 roses you would see the 12 most beautiful things in the world."  
"What about all the other stuff I see in the background?"  
"Stop destroying my pick-up lines!"

***

"Sooo, I see you are here as well."  
"Yeah. This is our university. Where we both go to. Because we are students. Of the same institution."

***

"You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree but the best way to fall... is in love with me"  
"..."  
"Holy shit, is that a smile?!"  
"Oh, shut up."

***

Daniel turned around when he heard someone clearing their throat behind him. He came face to face with a determined and serious looking Seongwoo surrounded by some girls. He was confused, did he plan on showing him his girl harem or what was his plan now?

"1, 2, 3!"

Suddenly the girls started to sing and Seongwoo did some turns and hand movements - he was crazily dancing along.

" _I want you pick me up!_  
 _Pick me pick me pick me up!_  
 _Pick me pick me pick me up!_  
 _Pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me up!_  
 _Pick me pick me pick me up!_  
 _Pick me pick me pick me up!_  
 _Pick me pick me pick me pick me_  
 _I WANT YOU PICK ME UP UP UP UP I WANT YOU PICK ME WOOOOOOOH_ "

Daniel was stunned and as fast they came they disappeared again. Seongwoo's wail of embarassment could even be heard from two floors below.

Daniel chuckled and went to class with a little smile on his lips.

***

"Kang Daniel. I have tried my best the last few months. I even went on the second site of google searches for pick-up lines and everybody knows only the really desperate kids click further. I tried everything that sounded a bit success bringing but nothing worked on you. So, here I am, no pick-up line ready, kind of feeling naked without one and trying to tell you that I'm-I'm gonna leave you alone from now on. I have realized that you really don't like me and aren't interested in me in that - or any - way. Even if it took a lot of courage to tell you this directly, I uh felt the need to tell you that you are free of me bothering you from now-"  
"..."  
"..."  
"Mhmm, didn't you say you were a great kisser?"  
"You completely took me by surprise!"  
"What a lame excu-"  
"..."  
"..."  
"So, did that fit your taste better?"  
"A bit but still not as good as you made it seem. Maybe I have to agree with Jaehwanie."

Seongwoo took Daniel's face in his hands and kissed him as passionately and as long as possible.  
Later at their coffee date, Daniel would deny that he sighed contently in that moment but both of them knew the truth, anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

"Wow, have you heard?"  
"What, Hyunbin?"  
"Seongwoo is trying woo Daniel-"  
"The dude who always stands on his tiptoes?"  
"- with horrible pick up lines!"  
"Nevermind, must be Ong."  
"I cringe whenever he comes with a new pick-up line. Daniel doesn't like them as well."  
"Yeah, he seems like someone who would hate stupid lines and retort back sassily. He's not that easy. But he surely likes the attention."  
"What?"  
"Didn't you know? Daniel has been crushing on Ong for months."

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure what I was thinking (probably nothing) but this whole fanfic idea doesn't really suit Ongniel's characteristics and dynamic since let's face it Kang Daniel is an adorable sweet peach who would never savage slay other people. At the same time, I couldn't switch Ong and Daniel's roles because he is also not someone who would bother someone with bad pick-up lines. Basically this should be Seongwoo/Jaehwan or even Seongwoo/Seongwoo. Yes, Seongwoo slaying himself because why not.
> 
> BTW, this is based on a similiar oneshot I once wrote for a completely different pairing back in 2011 or 2012. You know, back then when I was an emo and dramatic teenager. Time surely flies! Now, I'm an overly emotional and super dramatic adult.   
> Anyways, thank you all for reading, I appreciate every comment, read, kudo, bookmark!  
> Cookie points to everyone of you who can guess what girls came with Ong and brownie points for everyone who guesses correctly who Hyunbin is talking to! (it's easy)


End file.
